“They All Just Went Away” by Joyce Carol Oates - 1995

Joyce Carol Oates, editor of The Best American Essays of the Century, included one of her own essays about her childhood where she explores her love of investigating abandoned houses.  She focuses on the unique and tragic story of her former neighbors, the Weidels, and the story they left behind.  She describes them as a broken family with abusive parents who drank heavily, along with four sons and two daughters.  During one horrific night, the drunk father tried to set the house on fire while his family was sleeping.  She moves into her purpose of wanting to raise awareness for people in abusive relationships, making the point that because people are living in a home that makes them feel secure, does not mean they are actually living a safe life.  Throughout the essay, Oates defines what it is to be a home, “The house contains the home, but is not identical with it. The house anticipates the home and will very likely survive it, reverting again simply to a house when the home (that is, life) departs. For only where there is life can there be home.”  The only way a house can be a home is if the family is strong and is truly loving towards one another.  Oates appeals to her audience of the average human by hitting a topic that everyone can relate to: somewhere they call home.  

She uses the Weidels as an example of what happens when the relationships people hold dearly within a home are inexistent.  Home for some people overcomes the abuse and they become convinced everything is okay when in reality, it is the complete opposite.  Oates uses the rhetorical strategy of making a comparison between the Weidels home (which is the reality for many families throughout the world) and what a house really should be.  She argues the definition, wanting people to realize that a home is not a home without healthy relationships.  She says, “... these abandoned houses where jealousy guarded, even prized possessions have become mere trash… where a house has been abandoned… you can be sure there has been a sad story.”  Oates successfully achieves her purpose of wanting people to realize that a house is not a home without a loving family by giving the tragic story of the Weidels, which represents many families in the world.  By using a topic everyone can relate to, she successfully raises awareness of domestic abuse and violence, and how people need to have the courage to leave their house because it never was a home.